Keeping A Perspective On Stress
I've used diving as an analogy before in these monthly
tips and it seems apt to use it again this month. I learned to dive in
1996 and despite initial fears and worries, seemed to take to it like
the proverbial duck to water. Or perhaps that should be clown fish to
anemone. These days, it's how I choose to spend most holidays, floating
around underwater, chilling out and being relaxed. Yet not everyone finds
diving so stress free.
I've met a number of people who don't enjoy the
experience in the same way. They find the equipment cumbersome, worry
about what might go wrong, or might find themselves panicking when conditions
aren't ideal. Much of this is to do with confidence, and all of this is
to do with perception - what goes on inside our heads. They can't or just
don't switch off their brains in the same way that I am able to when I
dive.
It's the same with the rest of our lives. What may be stressful to one person, may be a breeze to others, yet it may be exactly the same event or situation. What is different is the way that event or situation is perceived. Stress, they say, occurs "when pressure exceeds your perceived ability to cope".
When I dive, I totally close my mind to the possibilities of what could go wrong and just enjoy the moment. When conditions aren't ideal or things don't go 100% right, I tell myself that I can cope, talk myself into continuing to breath slowly and regularly and hear my instructor's voice in my head, talking me through my actions. I remember that most diving accidents are due to diver error and try to keep my head at all times. These tactics serve me excellently when I'm diving. Yet, I don't always apply them in the rest of my life. In some situations I find myself doing exactly the opposite - worrying about potential failures, feeling out of control and making things appear worse than they really are.
The secret to coping with stress, is that as well as treating the body with respect we must look at what thoughts are causing the stress, and try and tackle them as well. Of course, some life events are inherently stressful, and some jobs (nursing and teaching, if surveys are correct) more stressful than others, but even so, how we react mentally, can greatly reduce the effects of stress on our physical and mental wellbeing.
When I employ those same mental techniques that I use in diving in the rest of my life, the benefits are immediately noticeable. I know that once I view a situation as threatening or stressful, it immediately becomes so. Consequently, I'm also determined not to become stressed about forthcoming events. They'll either go right or they won't, but worrying about the outcome won't necessarily affect that outcome, nor will it make me more able to cope.
Of course, it's not always easy to think like this once you are stressed, but being aware of what thoughts make you more stressed, and which ones help you cope is a huge step towards managing stress in your life.
Stress Busting Tips
- As there is often the temptation to abuse our bodies more when we are stressed than other times, it's important to keep this kind of behaviour in check. Are you drinking too much? Eating enough? Doing enough exercise? Try instead to eat properly and refrain from drinking too much. One glass of wine maybe alright, but not the whole bottle!
- Research has shown exercise to be hugely beneficial for stress. Do something that you enjoy doing and try to fit in at least one or two exercise sessions a week.
- Take a look at the reasons behind your stress. Have you taken on more work than you can fit in? Or perhaps you just need a break. If your friends are telling you that you need a holiday - then they're probably right.
- What thoughts could be behind your stress? Are you predicting worse-case scenarios all the time? Or perhaps you're mind-reading people and thinking that they are thinking negatively about you. Maybe you're focusing on the negative instead of keeping things in perspective?
- Look for evidence for and against your stress-inducing ideas.
- Try and look at the situation objectively. Project yourself into the future and look back on the situation. What will you think about it in a few months time. Or a year later? Will it still be as important?
- Practice assertiveness techniques and learn to say no.
- Perfectionists seem more susceptible to stress because they think much more rigidly. Take a step back and learn to be more flexible in your outlook.
If you suffer from stress at home or at work then my balance programme will help. During this package, we will look at exactly what thought processes are contributing to your stress and try and tackle them one by one. Cognitive techniques such as these have been shown to be particularly useful for stress-management.
Contact me for more information on how coaching can help with your stress.
Back To List Of Free Coaching Articles
