Keeping Positive In The Face Of Adversity
As a coach, I try and encourage my clients to keep a positive mental attitude towards challenges in their lives. Recently it has been a real test for me to apply the same principle to my own life as my house was broken into and I was burgled. At the same time, the international news has continued to be dominated by stories of violence, war and death.
It's impossible NOT to be affected by such violent and upsetting incidents, but what I've learned is that they key is to remain as positive as is possible throughout. Yes my office was violently broken into and my door smashed in. And yes, I do feel that my home has been violated and my space invaded. And it's been really inconvenient as well! Yet, I also realise that despite this awfulness, it could have been a lot worse. Ultimately, it was just 'stuff that was taken'. At the end of the day, things can be replaced. It's people and pets that can't, and luckily, in my own life at least, these all remain intact at this time.
Having a positive mental attitude doesn't mean ignoring the emotions that you're going through however. I had to recognise that I also needed to allow myself the time to feel down, and deal with everything in my own way. I took some space to feel upset but at the same time, by continuing to do the things that I know help improve my mood (eat well, exercise, go for walks and get lots of hugs), I ensured that I didn't wallow, but was able to move on.
These are my cats. Lots of cuddles from them helped me remain positive after I was burgled last month. I was also very grateful that they weren't hurt.
Keeping Positive - Some Tips
- Count your blessings. At times of difficulty, it's easy to concentrate on the negatives, but give yourself space to count your blessings and you'll get a whole new perspective on things.
- If it's your confidence that has taken a knock, take some time to sit down and recall all your strengths and positive attributes. Ask your friends to contribute.
- Keep telling yourself that "this too shall pass". Nothing lasts forever.
- Give yourself something positive to look forward to. Book a holiday, a treat, a meal out... anything that will keep you looking ahead with some positivity.
- Timetable in the things that you know will keep you feeling good - exercise, sunlight, being in the country, hugs from your friends, singing, and dancing are all mood enhancers.
- Although we can't control the things that happen to us, we can control how we react to things. Whenever you find yourself dwelling on the negative, or start having "why me?" thoughts, intervene. Remind yourself that sometimes we are just at the mercy of what life throws at us and that you will get through this.
- Try and see the glass as half full instead of half empty. Look at the new possibilities and opportunities rather than failures and obstacles.
- It might sound lame, but if it's possible, remind yourself that things could be worse! Instead of seeing yourself as unlucky for having something bad happen, see yourself as lucky that it wasn't worse. A few years ago I badly sprained my wrist when a door shut on me. I remember my mother commiserating at how unlucky I was. "On the contrary" I replied "I was lucky. I could have broken it".
- If all else fails, give yourself some space to let out all your emotions. Get yourself some tissues, watch a sad film, (or an episode of ER in my case), and have a good cry. Hopefully you'll feel a lot better afterwards.
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